


how could i have known you're a universe

by apollothyme



Series: tell them all the stories about our little world [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Headcanon Accepted, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 06:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5487821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollothyme/pseuds/apollothyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That night, Poe sleeps for more than six hours straight, something he hasn’t done in <i>years</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. everything's aflame, it's all aglow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night, Poe sleeps for more than six hours straight, something he hasn’t done in _years_.

That night, Poe sleeps for more than six hours straight, something he hasn’t done in _years_.

He wakes up to a lapful of young woman and a pair of warm lips pressed against his armpit. It’s a lovely sight, one he saw every so often on nights full of bright lights and laughter, and still he feels like it doesn’t belong to him, not really.

He nudges Rey awake. Of course, the force-user doesn’t look the slightest bit abashed when she notices the compromising nature of their positions. If anything, she seems almost pleased, grinning at him as she quickly dislodges herself and leaves.

Poe shakes his head and decides not to think about it. Some things weren’t made to be understood.

He says goodbye to Rey that afternoon. He doesn’t wave, doesn’t shout. He said what he had to say yesterday. He simply stands there as he watches the Millennium Falcon rise into the air and leave the atmosphere before it breaks into light speed. It’s a beautiful ship, old but full of memory and with more than a trick or two up her sleeve. Poe would love to pilot it one day. Maybe when Rey comes back and Finn is healed.

After Rey leaves, he goes and helps with repair duty around the base. He’s almost as good with ships on the ground as he is when they’re up in space and his aid is needed anywhere he can reach. The Starkiller might have been destroyed, but there are still countless First Order ships scattered across the universe that use each passing second to get back in shape.

Meanwhile, the Resistance is still dealing with the destruction of the Republic’s capital and its allied planets and the fact that their position on D'Qar has been compromised. They need to move as soon as possible, but ‘soon’ doesn’t seem to be on the horizon for them.

So Poe doesn’t sleep much, although he does keep drinking far too many soda pops and watching over Finn’s comatose form like a creepy hawk. He earns himself a couple of curious glances from his peers, most noticeably the General herself. He can tell that’s a sermon waiting to happen and, so, he does the only thing he can and avoids General Organa at all costs.

It’s not as if he’s _complaining_ about any of it. This is what he does; what he signed up for when he joined the Resistance; what he lives for. He simply meant what he said; he is a busy guy and sleep — well, sleep is overrated anyway.

This all comes to an end when Finn wakes up after two long, tortuous weeks.

The first thing out of Finn’s mouth after they’ve given him some water is, “Where’s Rey?”

The second, after Poe tells him what happened, is, “Okay, we need to go,” which is a great reminder of why Poe likes this man so damn much.

The third, unsurprisingly, is, “Ow.” It’s spoken loudly and followed by a couple of swear words, caused by the antiseptic Finn’s doctor is now pressing against the wound on his back.

“You alright?” Poe asks, making sure that the award for ‘Stupidest Question of the Year’ has a solid winner.

“Been better,” Finn replies. He makes an effort to smile as he speaks and Poe has to smile back. He’d missed the sight of Finn’s smile like a stranded man misses the comfort of his ship.

“You gave everyone quite a scare,” Poe tells him, which is code for ‘you gave me quite a scare’.

He doesn’t know if Finn gets it. If he does, he doesn’t let on, quickly getting back to the first topic of discussion. “We need to find Rey,” he says.

“She’s not lost.”

Finn, who has been awake for less than ten minutes, rolls his eyes. “We should still go to her location. Has she said anything since she left?”

“Communication channels have been closed. We don’t want the First Order’s remaining forces to find Luke’s location.”

Finn nods like he agrees with their decision. “That’s smart, but it’s also all the more reason why we must find her.”

“You don’t like Luke?” Poe asks. Finn’s doctor has since left, leaving Finn with a long list of things he shouldn’t do and the promise that he would come back later that evening. From the way Finn nodded along to everything the doctor said, Poe is sure he didn’t hear a word of it.

“I don’t know Luke. All I know is that he has been living on his own, on an island, for years and we don’t know what to expect from him.”

“I would have figured you, of all people, would trust Rey to be able to take care of herself,” Poe says. He’s just teasing, but he can’t help it. Watching Finn get flustered as Poe drags explanation after explanation from him is too satisfying.

“I trust her,” Finn says, like he’s personally offended by the mere suggestion otherwise. “Who I don’t trust is _him_.”

Poe’s grin is as incriminatory as any confession, but he searches for something to say in reply that isn’t a loud ‘fuck yes’. He settled for, “You’ll need a pilot.”

“I’ll need a pilot,” Finn agrees. He laughs and grimaces as the movement sets off a wave of pain. Poe is at his side in the blink of an eye. He hands Finn one of the anesthesia liquids the doctor left for him on his bedside table. “Thank you,” Finn says after he’s taken a few sips.

“No problem,” Poe replies. He doesn’t even notice he’s holding Finn’s wrist until the doctor comes in, alarmed by the sound of Finn trying to cough out his lungs.

Recommendations are made and more things are added to the list of things Finn is forbidden to do until he’s fully recovered. 

As soon as the doctor has finished talking, Finn asks, “When can I leave?”

The doctor’s antennae start buzzing from side to side. “Leave?” zie asks. “You can’t walk, much less leave. You’re on full bed rest for the next two days before you start with physiotherapy and then it’s another three weeks before you can be officially discharged.”

Finn’s eyes bulge so that they almost pop from his skull and Poe laughs, the sound coming out of him as if it has life of its own. Finn and the doctor, old Mix Trav, look at him like he’s suddenly sprouted a second head. “Just— Finn’s expression. It was funny,” he says, sounding more awkward and unsure in one sentence than he did in all his teenage years. 

Mix ignores him, for which he is thankful. “You can’t leave,” zie repeats.

“But I’ve got things I need to do,” Finn replies, although, truth be told, ‘whines’ is the more accurate term. He’ll be a great asset for the Resistance one day, Poe can already tell.

“No walking! You were cut by a lightsaber. You’re lucky to be alive,” Mix says and that— that Poe didn’t know.

Both men blanch and stare at each other for a couple of seconds, until Poe suggests, “What if he comes with me? My room is big enough to fit another bed and he’ll be more comfortable there. It will make for a speedier recovery.”

Now Mix’s attention is focused entirely on Poe. Mix squints at him like zie thinks Poe is playing a game and zie can’t figure out what that game is. “He still needs two days of bed rest. Here in the infirmary. Your room isn’t fit. He can only leave afterwards.”

“Alright, got you. Two days. No more, no less. Then he leaves.” Poe smiles, trying to look as innocent as possible. Mix’s squint, somehow, turns even sharper, until you can hardly see zir’s eyes.

“Afterwards, he’ll need daily checkups.”

“We’re not going to run away while you’re not looking, Mix,” Poe promises.

“That’s what you fighters always say and then what do you do?” Mix asks. It’s a rhetorical question if Poe ever heard one, but then zie doesn’t add anything for two long, uncomfortable seconds and of course Poe’s brain can’t let that go on any longer.

“We leave?” he tries.

“You leave!” zie exclaims, throwing zir hands in the air in frustration. “And you come back in more bits than you left. Don’t do that.”

“Hum,” is Poe’s brilliant and elaborate reply. He’s of lost track of where this conversation was headed.

“We won’t do that, don’t worry. I’ll rest and do the physical therapy,” Finn says, taking over the conversation.

Mix nods. “You better,” zie says, waving zir finger in front of Finn’s face before zie takes zir leave for the second time that day.

“Well, that was… something,” Poe says after zie has left. Finn laughs, then coughs in pain _again_. Poe pats him on the back. “Please stop doing that,” he asks.

“Right, right.” Finn holds onto his stomach for a couple of seconds while Poe watches, helpless. Finn has already taken his meds for the whole day. “Don’t worry, I’ve had worse.”

“Yeah?” Poe asks. He has no idea why he asks. The last thing he wants to hear about while Finn is in pain in front of him and stories about other times Finn was in pain. “I thought you used to work in sanitation.”

“Everyone gets the same basic training. It’s not the nicest, to say the least,” Finn says.

Poe squeezes his upper thigh through the thin fabric of his hospital gown. “You’ll be fine here,” he promises.

“Thank you, Poe. For everything,” Finn says. “I can stay here, though. I don’t want to bother you.”

“You won’t bother me. Anyway, we could use the privacy to make a plan, figure out what we need before we leave to find Rey. It will be better,” Poe says.

Truth be told, he’s the one dying to get out of the hospital wing. It feels claustrophobic to him. Depressing. He can’t imagine Finn spending his days here. Also, if he sleeps in Poe’s room, it will be easier for him to sneak out when he gets bored.

Poe is the kind of friend people want, not the kind of friend people need.

“No problem,” Poe says for the second time. He and Finn stare at each other for a couple of seconds, each of them sizing up the other one. It’s a good type of sizing. The kind that makes you feel as if you’ve done something right.

Poe takes a step back and starts telling Finn about the type of medical care they have in the Resistance. Usually, he’d come up with a better story, like the one where he flew inside the Starkiller to blow it up, but Mix included ‘no excitement’ on zir list of things Finn can’t do, so Poe’s hands are tied.

In any case, it doesn’t matter, as Finn falls into a deep slumber in mere minutes.

He looks more peaceful now, sleeping normally instead of knocked out in a medical coma. His face is more relaxed and his limbs are at a more natural angle. He even snores.

Poe finds the sound far more delightful than he should. He’s just so damn happy to see Finn is _okay_. Hurt and in need of recovery, yes, but fundamentally okay.

So many people didn’t come back that day. Good people that were both similar to and nothing like Finn, the Stormtrooper who deserted and then went back to save his friend. Finn, the guy who picked up a lightsaber and battled it off with a Jedi. Finn, one of the bravest people Poe has ever met in his life and if one thing can be guaranteed, it’s that Poe has met a lot of brave people over the years.

Poe squeezes Finn’s wrist one last time—he likes to feel the warmth of his pulse—and leaves his friend to rest. He needs to get that second bed in his bedroom and there’s work to be done with the Resistance.

Just before he leaves, though, Poe makes sure to leave his—Finn’s—mended jacket at the bottom of the bed, where Finn will easily be able to reach.


	2. I breathe for two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Later, Poe can’t decide whether putting a cot for Finn in his room was a brilliant or terrible decision.
> 
> The company is great. Of that, at least, there is no doubt.

Later, Poe can’t decide whether putting a cot for Finn in his room was a brilliant or terrible decision.

The company is great. Of that, at least, there is no doubt. 

Poe might be a little biased, but he loves talking to Finn and listening to his stories.

Finn tells him everything about his time on Jakku, of running away on the Millennium Falcon only to be taken in by Han Solo’s ship. He speaks about running with Rey, fighting with Rey and boarding the Starkiller to find Rey. He talks a lot about Rey in general. Poe finds that he doesn’t mind, certainly not as much as he imagined he would. He matches Finn’s description of her with the one he’s already established in his head and grows more and more impressed with each tale. If before Poe was curious to know what piloting by Rey’s side was like, he’s desperate to find out now.

Finn also talks about Han Solo and there is reverence in his tone, as well as wonder and admiration. He’s like a kid speaking about the childhood heroes he never had. From what Poe can tell, Finn seems to have a lot of admiration for anyone with a rebel streak.

He’ll fit along nicely with the Resistance, there’s no debating that.

And then there were the stories about the First Order. Sometimes they’re quite vague, but for the most part, Finn is fine with sharing them.

Apparently, the education the First Order gave their soldiers, while extremely extensive on some points, was also extremely lacking in others. Finn knew everything there was to be known about blasters, battle formations, following orders and cleaning a ship, but ask him about music, food or sports and the man was a blank sheet.

“What did you do to pass the time?” Poe asks him one night.

Finn’s been sleeping in his bedroom for over four days, on a cot shoved against the left wall, beneath the holographic window Poe installed when he first moved in. It looks fake as hell, but it makes the room a little cozier. Other than that, there is not a lot of decoration or furniture to speak of. There are a ton of spare parts, though, as well manuals for everything engineering related, which Finn has taken to devouring while Poe is gone. 

His recovery is going quite well. He got permission to start using a wheelchair yesterday, so he’s already started roaming the halls and exploring the base, just like Poe predicted. It’s only a matter of time before he’s back on his feet, as good as new.

Mix is both impressed and suspicious with Finn’s recovery, as if zie thinks Poe is giving Finn some kind of special treatment behind zir back.

“We didn’t have a lot of free time. Or, I mean, we weren’t supposed to?” Finn says. Poe turns around in his bed until he’s lying on his side and can look at Finn, who takes this as encouragement to continue speaking. “We talked a lot, about the Order, our equipment and our plans for the future. We used to, huh, talk about the higher ups.”

“You _gossiped_?” Poe asks, letting out a tiny gasp.

The First Order had always seemed so _strict_ to him, he never would have imagined that their stormtroopers could do something as menial as gossiping. BB-8, who has been playing with a sonic broom, comes running to Poe’s side to look at Finn with as much surprise as a droid can demonstrate. It’s likely that it doesn’t even know what Finn is talking about and is just imitating Poe.

“Not gossip, more like mindless chatter.” Finn sounds uncomfortable, but then he turns on his side so he can look back at Poe and BB-8 and his voice relaxes. “Mostly we discussed our missions. Past and future ones. People used to boast a lot about what they had done, how they had met All Expectations. That was the biggest reward you got there. Being told you met all expectations.”

“Sounds…” Poe rolls onto his back as he searches for the right word. Terrible? Boring? Ego-crushing? “Tiresome,” is what he settles for.

“I think it was because they didn’t want anyone to stand out. It’s easier to control a crowd if it’s homogenous. They thought that if we all had the same look, the same training, and the same mindset, we’d be the same person.”

“And look at how that backfired on them! You are a terror to the First Order, buddy. They’re all going to have nightmares about you now.”

Finn laughs, but Poe can tell he doesn’t find the joke all that funny. “I guess I am,” he says, quiet and thoughtful.

“Wanna go to sleep? It’s getting kind of late.”

Finn nods. “Goodnight, Poe. Goodnight, BB-8.”

BB-8 makes an excited chirping noise before it rolls to its charging bay and goes into sleep mode.

“Goodnight, pal.”

After Poe has turned off the lights, he lays on his bed and stares at the ceiling. There is nothing on it except for a couple of weird stains from the room’s previous occupant, a mystery which Poe refuses to linger on.

His nights have been like this ever since Finn moved in. Poe makes sure to be there at night—he makes sure to be there almost all the time, truth be told—in case Finn needs anything. And then he can’t sleep. It’s as annoying as it is frustrating. He’s stubbed his toes twice already trying to sneak out in the middle of the night in search of something to do.

Still, it’s not as if he has a choice. Poe refuses to look at those ceiling stains for longer than he has to.

After Finn’s breathing has evened out, Poe sits up and slowly makes his way out of the room. He goes to the cafeteria first, sneaks into the kitchen and steals an orange soda. Then he goes to the docking bay, where he spends most of his evenings. There are a few people around; people like him, who have trouble sleeping, with too many memories piled up behind their eyelids to let them close; and there’s the natural night-owls as well.

One of the good things about the Resistance is its diversity. There are people from all corners of the galaxy with all kinds of backgrounds, skills, and natures. Some can’t sleep at all during the night and so they covet rooms in the lowest levels of the base and work underneath the moonshine.

Poe greets the ones he knows and the ones he doesn’t. He settles in front of one of their older T-70’s, which has a broken mag-pulse launcher. It’s not a one-man job, but work is work. He idles away the hours, minutes slipping by unnoticed underneath his calloused hands. He only calls it a night after he’s burned himself three times with the mini blowtorch.

The walk back to his room takes longer. Poe seems to linger everywhere, enjoying the peace that comes with knowing you’re one of the few people awake, that sense of freedom that only comes from the ever-reaching stillness of the world. He stops by the command center, wanting to take a glimpse at the holograms illuminating the room, which are never turned offline.

He’s not expecting to find anyone there, much less General Organa sitting by one of the communication stations.

“Poe,” she says, as surprised to see him as he is to see her.

“General,” he says, smiling at her.

The General laughs and shakes her head. “I’m not sure how it came to be that I call you by your first name while you still call me General.”

“I’m not sure either.” Poe pauses for a second. “General.”

Leia Organa throws her head back and laughs, the sound filling the room with its honey melody. Poe is quite fond of General Organa. She is fair where many would be unjust and she is intelligent, calm, and resourceful, all necessary qualities to make a great leader. If the Resistance is where it is today, alive and still kicking, it is because of her.

“I won’t ask you what you’re doing awake at this hour if you don’t ask me either,” she says.

“A fair bargain,” Poe replies. He doesn’t mean to say anything else, but there’s a slight hitch to his voice, a fraction of a stumble, and it doesn’t escape the General’s notice.

“But, obviously, you’re welcome to talk if you want to. You know I’m always here if you need some friendly advice or a pair of ears.”

Her kindness is nearly overwhelming. Poe can’t look her in the eye as he speaks. “It’s nothing. I just can’t sleep.”

“Can’t sleep tonight or on most nights?” The General asks, making Poe cringe.

“Most nights,” he admits. Hastily, he adds, “But it’s not a big deal,” not wanting to give her reasons to worry over him. She’s already got more than enough to worry about.

“If you say so,” she says, slowly, giving him ample room to interject if he so desires.

Poe nods. “I do, but thank you. Goodnight, General.”

“Goodnight, Poe,” she says with a small sigh. Poe moves to leave, feels the weight of guilt weighing on him, and does a robotic half-turn as he debates on whether or not he should say something.

In the end, he leaves without a word. As much as he likes the General and she likes him, he’s not the person she’s missing and she’s not the one he should confide in.

Poe power-walks back to his room and slips in as the clock hits four in the morning.

Predictably, as soon as he’s taken two steps in, he stubs his toe on BB-8’s sonic broom. 

He tries to remain quiet as he hops from side to side, not wanting to wake up his roommate. He’s almost at his bed when a voice asks, “What are you doing?”

Poe freezes. It takes a while for him to turn around on the balls of his feet. After a moment of hesitation, he says, “I went to the bathroom.”

There is a pause. Silence fills the room, so nerve-wracking that Poe swears he can hear his own heartbeat clamoring in his ears. He doesn’t even know why he’s so nervous. He has no reason to be anything but perfectly calm. Going to the bathroom is a great reason for sneaking out at night. Just because you can pee in a bottle doesn’t mean you _should_ , no matter what his old roommate used to say.

“Do you always take five hours in the bathroom?”

“…No?” Poe says after another moment of hesitation. With a click of his fingers, Finn turns on the lights, making them both blink at the sudden light.

Finn rubs at his eyes and sits up with so much effort that Poe can’t forgo running to his side to help. “You’re really not as inconspicuous as you think you are.”

Poe thinks back to his last mission as a spy and mentally cringes. “Yeah, I’ve been told that a couple of times.”

“Good,” Finn replies. He finally manages to open his eyes. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Poe says. The reply is so instinctual he doesn’t even have to think about it, but it’s harder to get himself to smile reassuringly when his whole body is heavier than lead.

“Sure. And I’m secretly a Jedi Master and First Order isn’t trying to conquer the universe.” Finn scoffs. Poe tries to chuckle and ends up sounding like a dying eopie. Finn puts a hand on Poe’s left arm. Without Poe noticing, it seems their roles as the injured and the protector have been reversed. “Come on. Out with it. You look like a bottle waiting to pop.”

Even though the last thing he wants is it to come ‘out with it’, Poe can’t help but smile at Finn’s choice of words. The man is like a sponge when it comes to knowledge. He picks up new words and expressions with an impressive ease and he's quite perspective. That plus his charm, all down-to-earth and timid, means it won’t be long before he’s heading off on his own missions.

With Poe and Rey by his side, of course.

"I have trouble sleeping," Poe confesses. This part is easy enough to share.

“Is it because of what happened with Ren?” Finn asks.

Poe has to use every bit of strength in him not to jump from the bed and leave. Instead, he bites on his tongue until he can taste blood. The metallic tang is foul and sharp. It helps him stay focused.

“I wasn’t a sound sleeper before, but that didn’t help, no.” 

The memory of his time back in the First Order’s cruiser makes him shiver. The only reason why he can even think about it is Finn and the way he’d risked everything to get out of there with Poe.

Finn gives him a thorough once-over before he asks, "When's the last time you got a good night's rest?" and Poe has flashbacks to a night with a surprising end.

"Two weeks ago. The night before Rey left. We kind of slept on the same couch." Poe coughs. Meeting Finn's eyes has never been more difficult. "She's very warm," he finishes lamely.

"You slept with Rey?" Finn asks. He sounds scandalized, but not horrified, so Poe takes the victory where he can get it.

"Not _with_. Just by her side. With her feet on my lap and then with my head on top of hers."

Now Poe is the one who is scandalized by his own words. What the hell is he even saying?

Finn is quiet for a couple seconds. Poe starts to wonder what are the odds of him trying to beat him up. Low, probably? Finn is technically still on bed rest. The fighting would wake up BB-8 and the little droid would work itself into a frenzy at the sight. It would be chaos.

"Okay," Finn says after an eternity of silence. He looks down at his bed, glances at Poe's bed, shakes his head and crawls until he's sitting right next to the wall.

"Huh," Poe says and honestly, what is up with all these light-saber-users stealing his speech? What happened to the days when he was butter smooth and always had a comeback on his tongue? 

"Stop staring and lie down, Poe. My arms are starting to hurt."

Well, Poe doesn't need to be asked twice. He lies down next to Finn, who throws an arm over his waist the second Poe settles on the bed.

Curiously, there are stains on Finn's half of the ceiling too.

"Is this weird?" Finn asks. He sounds uncertain and finally— _finally_ —Poe regains some of his footing.

"Nah," he drawls. "It's fine."

And the best part is that he means it.

From then on, that is how they spend their nights. Poe won't deny it, he sleeps a lot better with someone by his side. His limbs are looser and the room around him doesn't feel as claustrophobic.

He even snores, which Finn seems to like, much to Poe’s bafflement.

“Stormtroopers don’t snore,” he says.

“What? No one? Not a single one of you snores?” 

“No one. The First Order might be awful at a great number of things, but they had really good medical service. If anything was wrong with you, they’d put you to sleep and fix it.”

“And if they couldn’t fix it?”

“Then you’d be disposed of. Terminated.”

Yeah, that’s the feeling Poe always got.

After another week, Finn starts walking. 

"Baby steps," is what Mix tells him as he attempts to lift himself from his wheelchair. "Only baby steps!"

Poe watches from the sidelines, determined to let Finn do this on his own.

"Babies don't weigh ninety kilos," Finn bites out as he drags himself along the wall, making Poe laugh and Mix shake zir head at him.

"Babies don't have muscle. You do. Careful with your back."

" _I know._ "

"I know you know,” zie replies, lifting zir nose at him. Finn sighs so damn loudly that even the other patients scattered around the room hear him. Poe starts to laugh so hard he has to excuse himself.

Another week and Finn can walk by himself. He's prohibited from doing any heavy lifting, but other than that, he's as fit as any of them. Poe uses the opportunity to take him to the docking bay and show him his T-70.

"If you'd like, you could pilot it one day."

Finn runs his hand on the hull, looking at Poe's lovechild with stars in his eyes. Poe may or may not be desperate to take out a camera and record the moment.

"I think I'll leave the piloting to you and Rey. I wouldn't mind knowing my way around it, though, just in case." He flashes Poe a winning grin.

“That’s fine by me.”

It's around this time that Mix officially discharges him and Finn's demands to go see Rey come back full-force. With no reason to say no to him, Poe accompanies him in finding the General to inform her of their decision.

They expect to be met with some resistance. A couple of arguments in favor of letting Rey train with Luke on their own and maybe some others about being patient. They prepare for the fight as well as they can, lining up plenty of reasons on why they should go. Poe’s are as pragmatic as he could make them. They’re about strategy and how it would be better to have Rey and Luke around in case the First Order comes knocking. Loads of nonsense, basically.

Finn just wants her back. 

They are so stunned when the General’s reply is a quick and sure, "When are we leaving?" that it takes them a moment to think of a reply.

"As soon as possible. Poe's already got a ship ready," Finn says.

The General looks at Poe, who scratches the back of his neck and dutifully refuses to meet her eyes. 

"Of course he does. Well then, I'll see you both in the docking bay at 20:00."

“Yes, 20:00. Perfect.” Finn grins and the room lights up. “Thank you, General.”

“It’s the least I can do after everything you and Rey have done for us,” she tells him. “And I think it’s time I go see my brother.”

Finn smiles again and nods. He doesn’t resist shaking the General’s hands, although he stops himself from going in for a hug at the last minute. Poe is more reserved, but he smiles at her too, thankful for everything she does for them.

“We’re gonna go see Rey,” Finn exclaims after they’ve left, bursting with unfiltered joy.

There is a mixture of anxiety and happiness inside Poe that he doesn’t know what to do with. He knows he can’t deny his feelings for Finn, but he’ll be damned if he can put into words what he feels for Rey.

Instead of trapping himself in his words, Poe settles for clapping Finn on the back and confirming his joy. “We’re gonna go see her,” he repeats.

At the very least, it would be an interesting trip.


	3. under the light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who’s going to be the co-pilot?” Finn asks as they take a transporter down towards the sleeping quarters. Poe’s kit is already packed and ready to use, but they need to get one for Finn as well as pick up BB-8. “Do you need my help? I know I haven’t flown before, but I’ve been reading a lot lately and I already know the basics.”
> 
> For someone who said he wasn’t that eager to pilot, Finn sure has a weird way of showing it.

“Who’s going to be the co-pilot?” Finn asks as they take a transporter down towards the sleeping quarters. Poe’s kit is already packed and ready to use, but they need to get one for Finn as well as pick up BB-8. “Do you need my help? I know I haven’t flown before, but I’ve been reading a lot lately and I already know the basics.”

For someone who said he wasn’t that eager to pilot, Finn sure has a weird way of showing it.

“Thanks, buddy, but there are plenty of good pilots around the base who will use any opportunity to waste fuel and meet Luke Skywalker in the process.”

Finn looks the tiniest bit disappointed at that, but he quickly gets over it, growing excited once more at the prospect of reuniting with Rey. It has been over a month since the two last saw each other and even though their time together was brief, it seems the bond established between them is as strong as mandalorian iron.

And since it’s Finn, his joy seeps through his pores and burst with every spoken word. His happiness is contagious and Poe has no choice but to smile and laugh, warm to the core, at the sight of him skipping back to their shared quarters.

When they tell BB-8 the news, the droid starts circling the room in excited flourishes, beeping wildly and so quickly even Poe has trouble understanding him. Finn is able to pick up most of his sounds, another sign that is learning abilities are nothing to be mocked. At the rate he’s going, he’ll be fluent in binary and a number of other languages in one D’Qar year.

Poe calls Jessika Pava while Finn packs a kit under BB-8’s watchful lenses. Packing a travel kit was included in the First Order’s stormtrooper training, but they do things differently in the Resistance.

“Why does BB-8 keep shoving candy bars in my bag?”

“Rule number seven of packing for long distance flights: always bring your favorite snacks. You never know when you might get a craving,” Poe replies as he keeps scrolling down in his personal communicator.

Last time they got drunk together, Jessika changed her name on Poe’s contact list—a habit curiously shared by many of Poe’s co-workers and so called ‘friends’—and Poe can’t for the life of him recall what she picked. He could call her on the official channels, but those calls were recorded and they would all like to avoid a repeat of the incident where one of them (Jessika) called the other (Poe) a ‘soggy bag of Ronto dicks’ in a transmission later picked up by the Republic’s techs.

Now _that_ had been an awkward conversation with the General.

Finn doesn’t reply to Poe’s comment, but a few seconds later Poe hears him whisper to BB-8. “I like the ones with the berries better.”

BB-8 chirps [Understood!] in agreement and shoves a couple of the berry bars in one of the kit’s inner pockets. [Drink?], it asks, [Partner-Poe always takes drink]. Finn looks at Poe with a raised eyebrow, making Poe chuckle and throw a soda at him. 

“It knows about my sugar addiction and has decided to become an enabler. It’s terrible,” Poe says.

“How come BB-8 calls you its partner while all the other droids call their owners Master?” Finn asks.

“I told it to call me partner while I’m around. Master sounds… weird, like it’s my slave or something, which isn’t true at all. BB-8’s my partner in crime, isn’t that right, buddy?”

BB-8 chirps again and spins on itself. [Affirmative!]

Poe chuckles and goes back to the task at hand. After going through his contact list twice, he finally finds Jessika’s information under ‘Lean Mean Piloting Machine’. 

“I’ve got a mission,” is Poe’s opening line.

“Hi, Poe! How are you? I’m good, thanks for asking. I haven’t seen you around much. How’s Finn? Has he been keeping you bus—“

“Formalities are dead. Long live anarchy,” Poe says in a flat voice. He doesn’t waste time changing subjects. “You in?”

“To destroy the society we live in with you? No, thank you. My ship is scheduled for a maintenance check tomorrow and after that I’m going down the Outer Rim to investigate potential planets for our new base. I thought you were going to be in that, too,” Jessika says.

“And I will, eventually. But this mission comes first. The General is coming with us.”

That tidbit of information sparks Jessika’s interests. Poe can practically hear the gears in her head turning.

“Where to?” she asks.

“To meet a certain Jedi.”

Jessika sucks in a breath. “Poe, if you’re joking, I swear to Quay I will punch you.”

“I’m not joking on anyone’s gods! You know I wouldn’t do that to you, Jess.”

“You would definitely do that to me,” she replies.

Poe ignores her. “We’re going to see him. So are you in or not?”

“Of course I’m in! You think I’m going to pass up the opportunity to meet Luke Skywalker in the flesh?”

Poe grins. He didn’t. “You’ll own me for this.”

Jessika snorts. “Like you own me for that time with the Banthas? Or that time in that godawful tropical planet with the shrieking birds?”

“We’ll be even then,” he says.

“Sure,” she replies, sounding like she has another ten cards up her sleeve to use in future deals. “When do we leave?”

“Tonight at twenty-hundred.”

“You got a ship?”

“I got a ship,” Poe tells her.

“Alright. See you later then.”

She hangs up the call before Poe has time to say anything else. “We’ve got a co-pilot,” he tells Finn. “Jessika Pava, you’ll like her.”

“I know her already. She showed me around the base’s outer area and lent me some books on botany.”

Poe gapes at Finn. “When did this happen?” he asks.

“While you were working in the docking bay.” Finn looks at Poe’s face and smirks with the right side of his mouth. “Is that jealousy I detect in your voice?”

“No, no. Not at all.” Poe shakes himself. “I’m just happy you’re getting along with everyone.”

“Well, yeah. If I’m going to join the Resistance, I need to know people besides you, Mix and the General.”

At that, Poe has to smile. “‘Going to’? Buddy, I’ve got some news for you. You’re already a part of the Resistance.” Poe claps Finn on the arm. “Hope you’re okay with that.”

“It beats working for pennies as a miner in the Outer Rim,” Finn says.

“And you haven’t even done anything fun yet! Just wait until we go on a mission, Finn. You’ll love it. The thrill. The camaraderie. The feeling that you’re doing the right thing. It’s freeing, you know?”

“I believe you,” Finn says and Poe wonders if he means it.

For Poe, the Resistance is his life. His parents were a part of it too and while his mother didn’t like to talk about the war, Poe’s father used to regale him with stories of other people’s adventures, painting them in epic murals of bravery and strength. Poe grew up dreaming about flying for the Republic with fire in his blood and a natural sense of honor and duty. 

When he joined the Republic’s Navy, and then the Resistance, it was like coming home. A lot of people knew his parents— _war heroes_ —and they welcomed him with open arms. They gave him space. They gave him freedom. They gave him a ship and told him to fly to the stars and back. Fighting for the Resistance was like having his own pair of wings.

He doesn’t know how Finn feels, if it is the same for him. He doubts it is. They are distinct people who, on a fateful night in Jakku, had their their lives intertwined and their paths aligned and Poe may not believe in luck or fate, but he did believe that everything had meaning, had weight, and that their stories were still being written, line after line.

“Good,” Poe says and it doesn’t even hurt when he adds, “now let’s go get your girl.”

Finn looks away, shaking his head like he’s embarrassed.

As they’re passing beneath the doorframe, BB-8 rolls beneath their legs and overtakes them, making Poe stumble and nearly fall on his ass.

“Smooth,” Finn jokes. Poe huffs and keeps walking. Finn and Jessika must get on like butter on toast. They already have so much in common, what with making fun of Poe every five seconds.

“I didn’t raise you to be like this,” Poe says, making Finn laugh so loud he makes everyone in the corridor stare at them.

“You didn’t raise me at all,” Finn replies.

Poe pretends to wipe away a couple of tears. “So young and already turning against me.”

True to word, when Jessika meets them at the medium transport _Wayfarer_ -class they’ll be using on their trip to Rey and Luke’s location, she and Finn greet each other like old friends. Poe lets them joke around while he checks the fuel tanks and makes sure none of their electronics are fried. After they lost more than half their attacking feet on the battle against Starkiller, old ships were brought out from storage and some ships that should have gone to the metal compactor were given their fifty-seventh chance.

As it is, Finn refuses to leave before he’s checked and then double-checked everything in their ship is in working condition.

“Poe, you’ve been inside that engine for the past twenty minutes. Please tell me you’ve either found mythra or that we’re ready for departure.”

Poe fixes his hair as he makes his way out of said engine. “General,” he says in greeting. “We’re ready to go.”

“Excellent,” the General replies, smiling at him. While they walk towards the ship’s main entrance, she asks, “Poe, you are sure you want to take this trip, aren’t you? I completely understand if you need to take a few more days to rest after everything that happened. Jessika and I could make the journey with Finn by ourselves.”

Poe stares at his superior officer like she’s just told him Han Solo used to be married to a wookie.

“I assure you I’m more than capable of doing my job, General.”

General Organa smiles like the mere act of looking at Poe is causing her physical pain. “It’s a shame you and Han didn’t get to meet properly. You would have gotten along splendidly.”

Poe, who grew up on stories about Han Solo and his time in the Rebellion, blushes, flattered and befuddled at the same time.

The ride to Luke’s location is, against all odds, quiet. General Organa and Finn sit at back and discuss what Finn will do with his life now that he’s out of the First Order. Poe shuts the door between the cockpit and the rest of the ship, giving them some privacy.

He has no clue why Jessika is so quiet, he knows she grew up on stories about Luke Skywalker the same way Poe grew up on stories about Han Solo, but now that the initial excitement has died off she seems content on watching the stars in silence and who is Poe to deny her that?

They arrive at Luke’s island in late afternoon. The Millennium Falcon is parked near a cliff, close to kissing the sea, and it takes careful maneuvering on Poe and Jessika’s behalf to fit the Wayfarer on the vacant stretch of greenery. 

“The man has got a whole planet for himself and still he goes and picks the smallest island available,” Poe says as he pulls in the breaks and checks the flow regulators. At his side, Jessika turns off the starboard engines and starts the decompressing process.

“This islet is an old Jedi temple. It’s sacred,” she says.

Poe looks out the window to the greenery in front of him. Must be a microscopic temple then, because there’s nothing in front of him but rocks and dirt.

The first person out of the ship is Finn. He greets Chewie with a big hug and gives the two droids accompanying him a wave before he’s running off with BB-8 at his feet. Leia stays behind chatting to Chewie while Jessika greets R2-D2. Poe is the only one who stays inside the ship.

Maybe the General was right. Maybe he shouldn’t have come. There’s something about the island—the whole planet—that gives him the creeps. It’s like a pressure against his skin, so soft it ceases to exist whenever he opens his eyes and yet palpable whenever he blinks. He feels like he’s walking through thick mud, his limbs slow and heavy.

Poe’s heartbeat speeds up and he has to force himself to take long, calming breaths.

In and out. Breathing is easy. Anyone could do it.

In and out, until his blood pressure evens and he can move without wanting to throw up. 

He was immersed in the same nauseating sensation while he was trapped in the First Order cruiser at the mercy of Kylo Ren, but back then he’d blamed it on his concussion.

Here there’s nothing to blame but his mind.

In and out. Anyone could do it, even infants.

Poe took out his grape soda and chugged it like it was something stronger.

“Poe-tato,” Jessika called through the entrance, her head the only part of her visible, “they’re here.”

Poe takes his time while he walks out of the ship. He spots Rey and Finn immediately. The two have their arms lapped around each other’s shoulders, looking like a duo from those old comedy holo-movies Poe’s father loved. Even though it hasn’t been that long since he saw her, Poe can already see the difference in Rey, what she’s achieved in the time spent with Luke. Her hair is down, curling loose around her shoulders, and her movements seem more freed and precise as if everything she does is an extension of her consciousness.

“Poe,” Rey says. She dislodges herself from Finn and goes up to him, stopping when she’s right in front of him. There is an awkward shuffle where they can’t decide if they should go in for a handshake or a hug and Rey is the one who makes the choice for them by pulling Poe in. “Thank you,” she whispers. He hears the rest of her sentence, the words she doesn’t say. _For keeping him safe_. 

“No problem,” Poe replies.

Rey takes a step back and smiles, genuine and warm, just like the rest of her, and it’s like the sun suddenly coming out of the clouds. Poe is calmer immediately. It’s not even a conscious thing. His body simply relaxes, somehow connected to Rey’s presence.

It’s like being in the eye of the storm.

Then Rey takes another step back and Poe spots the man he travelled half a galaxy to find.

He is both everything and nothing Poe expected. His long gray hair and beard do nothing to erase his age. He’s got a lightsaber strapped to his belt and his robes are full of layers that make his body seem smaller and more compact than it likely is. He’s immersed in a deep conversation with the General, their heads bowed together.

“They were crying earlier,” Rey whispers. “Luke has really missed her.”

Poe licks the outside of his teeth and smacks his lips.

He can see the similarity, yet he notices the differences the most.

The General aged better even though her life is full of nothing but wars, politics and stress. She stands with her back straight while Luke’s entire body is bent as if there is some heavy weight on his shoulders.

Poe waits for them to stop talking before he walks up to them.

“Luke Skywalker,” he says, “you’re a hard man to find.”

There’s no anger in his voice, no malicious intent, because if Poe was the type of person who held on blindly to resentment, he wouldn’t be where he was today. He wouldn’t have accepted the mission to find Skywalker in the first place and he wouldn’t have come here for Rey. 

No, Poe Dameron is not the type of person who lets hate be his guide.

He is maybe a little bitter, that he won’t deny, but even that he can’t hold onto now, not while he is face to face with a man who holds himself like Atlas and has suffered like Midas.

The legend is still there. He is the man who was once one of the greatest Jedi knights in the galaxy, nobody can strip that from him. And yet, all Poe sees now is a tired old man.

“I’m sorry for all the grief I caused. When I ran away, I did so while not thinking of the consequences. I’m sorry to all of you.”

“We all do things we regret. It’s enough that you’re here now,” Poe says. He believes it too. It’s amazing how grudges can fade the second you’re faced with the person who caused them.

“Poe is right. We have to look towards the future and not hold onto the past,” General Organa says.

“I’m not who I used to be, Leia. I’ve changed.”

“We all have,” the General says. And then, “does that mean you won’t come back with us?”

Poe’s neck suffers a minor fracture when he whips his head to stare at Skywalker. He’d assumed right off the bat that he would go with them if Rey went, and he knew Rey would come back if Finn asked, and that was a clear given.

“I don’t know if I’m the person you’re looking for,” Skywalker says.

“I’m looking for you, Luke. No one else.”

Skywalker hesitates before he says, “I’ll accompany Rey until her training is complete.”

“And after that?” and now the person asking isn’t General Organa, commander of the Resistance, distinguished member of the Republic and a highly veneered leader, but Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker’s sister. 

“I’ll do what I can to help,” Skywalker says.

The General nods. She doesn’t say anything else, a silence which her brother accepts. The tension between them is enough to cut a T-60 in two. Poe scratches the back of his neck andwonders how weird it’d be if he sneaked out while Skywalker and the General continue whatever psychic conversation they’re clearly having.

He’s saved from his fate when Jessika walks to his side and greets Luke, putting her left hand on the small of Poe’s back as if to steady him.

It’s actually kind of hilarious to watch Jessika and Skywalker interact. The former is full of energy and bursting with the excitement while the other is a sea stack, eroded only by time. Jessika even asks Skywalker for an autograph, which makes the old man blush so hard it looks like he’s just eaten a devaronian pepper.

Poe takes his cue and leaves them, heading back to the ship.

It’s only another twenty minutes before they’re ready for departure. Apparently Rey and Luke had sensed them entering the planet’s atmosphere and Rey had already packed all of her essentials while Luke had nothing to pack. Poe stares more than he should as he hears Rey tell them all this, goggling at the part where she admits she could sense them entering the planet’s _atmosphere_.

It’s not often that Poe Dameron feels overwhelmed, but he feels it now as the true scope of Rey’s power begins to dawn on him.

Since Rey misses Finn and Finn is used to being at Poe’s side, the three of them head back to D’Qar on the Wayfarer while Jessika and the General go with Chewie and Skywalker in the Millennium Falcon.

“Luke told me about my family,” she says as they enter hyperspace. She’s so excited she’s literally jumping on her seat. Poe has no idea how to react, but luckily Finn covers for him by jumping into the space between the pilot and the co-pilot’s chair to better look at Rey.

“Who? What? When?” he asks.

“Qui-Gon and Mira Kenobi. He was the son of an old Jedi master, Luke’s first mentor.” Rey pulls out a viewer and shows them a hologram of a couple smiling and then a ginger man in Jedi robes. “He said my grandfather died protecting him and then my parents died protecting me.” Rey puts the viewer away. “I don’t remember them, I only remember being _left_ and them saying they’d come back.”

“What happened?” Poe asks. “I mean, how did they die?”

Rey shakes her head. “First Order. It all happened around the time Kylo Ren went berserk and killed all the Jedi apprentices.”

“Was it—“ Poe stops. Everyone knows what he was about to ask, but he doesn’t want to intrude where he doesn’t belong.

“Kylo? Luke doesn’t know. He thinks so.” Rey pulls her knees up. “He was supposed to train me, before it all went to hell. He said he didn’t even know I was alive until I showed up last month.”

Finn pulls in Rey for a hug that may or may not crack a couple of bones. Poe waits until they’re done to pull Rey in for a briefer, but still strong, hug.

He has no idea what Rey is feeling and he won’t pretend to understand. Her life has been thrown upside down so dramatically in the space of two months that it’s a wonder how she looks so _serene_.

Poe’s life is full of rough patches; moments when he moved forward because he had to, because there was no other option but to keep going, keep kicking and struggling for breath. It’s a part of him, this deep-set instinct to keep fighting despite all the shit and misery life threw at him. Poe moves forward because that’s what his parents told him to do when he was a kid. His mother, in particular, was always a giant in his eyes, full of kindness, strength and resilient as hell. She went through everything and came out stronger, right until she took her last breaths. Poe made it a mantra to be the same, if not for himself, if not for the galaxy he swore to protect, then for her.

And if Rey is anything like him, then they share this drive that is both an illusion and a promise at the same time.

“Does that mean your full name is Rey Kenobi?” Finn asks.

Rey shrugs. “It can be, but I can choose something else if I want to. It’s _my_ name.” She inclines her head, then shares with them a private smile. “But I think I like it. Rey Kenobi. It sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“It sounds awesome,” Poe says as Finn whoops and pulls Rey in for another hug.

“It sounds amazing! Rey Kenobi. Now I’m the only one missing a last name.”

Poe shakes his head. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” he says, not even noticing the implications of that ‘we’ until the words have slipped out. Damn him and his big mouth, always making assumptions, always—

“You could be a Dameron,” Rey says out of freaking nowhere.

“Oh, I like that,” Finn replies. Poe chokes on his own saliva. Of all the things he thought would happen today, this was definitely not on the list. “Finn Dameron. People would think we’re brothers or something.”

“Or something,” Poe repeats.

Finn and Rey laugh like they’re in on a joke Poe is completely clueless about and then Rey starts talking about Jedi training and how she can crack a boulder with a single kick now. Poe welcomes the distraction with open arms and lets the conversation wash over him. Being Finn and Rey’s third wheel is not at all awkward like he imagined it would be, which is a happy discovery, as Poe wouldn’t know what to do with himself if that were the case.

He knows he couldn’t just leave, there’s no question about that. Awkward or not, overly fond of them or not, this is Poe’s life now. Finn literally lives with him and Rey is quickly growing in his heart, not to mention they’re valued allies in the Resistance, which means they’d be seeing each other constantly even if Poe were to put some distance between them.

All of their lives have been weaved together and if he can’t leave, he might as well enjoy being at their side.

“What cool Jedi tricks can you do now?” he asks, making Rey jump from her seat.

“I can make some stuff levitate, but don’t tell Luke!”

Poe and Finn follow her with laughter at the tips of their tongues. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so a few notes:  
>  **1)** i know the rey kenobi thing is a huge stretch but this is fanfiction and I Don't Care  
>  **2)** jessika pava sure is cool isn't she


	4. of all the stars

The thing about fighting a war bigger than life itself is that it never stops.

While Finn was in a coma and Rey was off training in the secret arts of kicking ass, the destruction went on. The Resistance had platoons scattered across the galaxy that did everything in their power to put the First Order in line. They had people who depended on them and constantly needed their help.

The first order General Organa gave when their merry band returned to D’Qar was to finally switch bases and get their troops back in space.

“We have wasted too much time,” she proclaimed. “The First Order won’t stop and neither can we.”

So they went back to work, now with a Jedi and an ex-Stormtrooper as part of their ranks. Rey and Finn were immediately assigned to Poe’s team, which had been dramatically cut short in numbers during the Starkiller attack.

“Do we need to call you Captain Poe now?” Finn asks.

“During missions, yes, but there’s no need for formalities while we’re off duty,” he says, squinting at Finn. His friend sounds far too enthusiastic about the prospect of calling Poe his captain and Poe is Suspicious Of Such Behavior, in capital letters.

“Shouldn’t we practice together if we’re all going to be on the same team?” Rey asks. She produces an apple out of some hidden pocket in her robes and starts eating it while jumping up and down on Finn’s bed.

“What kind of practice?” Poe asks, turning to squint at Rey. He feels like he’s been doing a lot of squinting since Rey came back two days ago and turned their worlds upside down again. Poe’s whole life felt like a roller coaster at this point, and he’d yet to reach his thirties. 

“Stealth practice would be good. The two of you aren’t exactly subtle and Leia said our next steps must be careful and precise, so,” Rey says.

Poe is ashamed of himself, but he can’t stop the indignant squawk coming from his mouth as he says, “I’m stealthy.”

“Oh yeah, you’re stealth personified. Remember when you tried to shoot Kylo Ren with a blaster and then told him to piss off directly in his face?” Finn asked, moving his hand from the center of his chest to the right as he whispered, “ _Stealth_.”

“Why is everyone turning against me?” Poe looked at BB-8, who was rolling around the room’s floor. “You won’t turn against me, will you, pal?”

BB-8 put out a lighter, giving Poe the mechanical equivalent of a thumbs up and making Poe pause. Huh. He didn’t even know his robot could do that.

“I’ll ask Luke for help. I think he’s a little overwhelmed around the base. Too many people for his hermit soul to handle,” says Rey.

“What’s he like?” Poe asks before he can stop himself.

Rey hesitated. “He’s… quiet. He doesn’t talk much and he walks like he has a world weighing on his shoulders. But he can be quite funny at times. It’s like there’s two Lukes, the one from before and the one from now. Occasionally the old one slips out and then his feet are the quickest I’ve seen and I can’t even keep up with him, but for the most part he’s just quiet and old,” as Rey talks, she grows quieter and quieter herself, until her voice is a mere whisper. When she’s done and realizes everyone in the room is staring at her, she regains her energy and says, “But he’s still a great teacher! I’ll go talk to him now.”

“I’ll go with you,” Finn says. He and Rey do nearly everything together. Poe lets them go without saying anything. It’s easier like this.

While his friends are gone, Poe decides to go find the platonic love of his life and poke her with a metaphorical stick until she wants to play with him.

Jessika Pava, as one would expect, is not amused by Poe’s antics. “What is this? A mid-life crisis?”

“I’m too young for that,” Poe tells her, making Jessika wave her hand at him.

“Sure you are, little sugarpuff. Anyway, why are you annoying me and not your better halves? I thought you’d be surgically attached to their hips by now,” she says. She’s underneath a beautiful TF-81, half her body concealed by the mechanics and the other half lying next to Poe’s feet. Poe decides to sit by her side so that they have more privacy.

“They are surgically attached to each other. I’m not attached to anyone.”

“You’re hilarious,” Jessika says, and then, “Did you know Rey has been sleeping in one of the tiny ass rooms in minus three? The ones that don’t even have proper lighting?”

“What? Why?” Poe asks.

“Beats me. I told her there were rooms available on our floor, but she shrugged and said she was fine. I think that after all those years living alone, suddenly being surrounded by people is a bit too much for her.”

“I thought that floor was empty,” Poe says.

“It is. It’s just her and some maintenance bots.”

Poe rubs a hand over his eyes. “Jeez.”

“But if someone asked her if she wanted to share a room, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t say no to that.”

“Are you offering?” Poe asks.

Jessika rolls out from beneath the TF-81 to roll her eyes at him. “No, idiot, I’m saying you should do it.”

Poe splutters. “I wouldn’t— She and Finn—“

“Are just friends. Just like you and her are friends. Just like you and Finn are friends. Very good friends, mind you.” Jessika rolls back beneath the TF-81. “Very close friends, who look like they all want to be something else. Honestly, I don’t know what’s your problem. I was raised by three moms and I turned out alright, didn’t I?”

“This talk got serious unexpectedly quickly,” Poe says, feeling like all the blood has drained from his face. 

He knows Jessika is right. There is nothing wrong with group relationships, nothing at all.

Poe once dated two guys at the same time. That relationship had ended in a spectacular meltdown, with one building blowing up, one of his boyfriends running off to another quarter of the galaxy and the other deciding to become a monk. Still, up until the point where it all went to metaphorical and physical shit, everything had been fine. 

He can’t compare the two scenarios though, not if he’s being realistic. That relationship happened in his early twenties, when he was far more reckless than he is today, which is saying a lot. And the people he dated, he loved them, but not like he loves Finn and Rey. It’s a completely different relationship. Finn and Rey matter, not just to Poe, but to the whole universe. More to the fact, they were both young, still at the ripe of their youth. Poe was not a weight on anyone’s shoulders by any means, but he didn’t want to tie them, didn’t want to burden them in any way he possibly could.

“You’re such a loud thinker, Poe-tato,” Jessika says.

“And you’re such a loud everything,” Poe says, not paying attention to the words coming out of his mouth.

“I’ll cry myself to sleep over that one,” Jessika replies. “If you want you can join me down here or you can take your loud brain and go somewhere else.”

Poe hesitates for a second, his own duties weighing on his conscience, before he relents and slides beneath the TF-81 to help Jessika. They work together, shoulders brushing and hands knocking together every now and then, until their stomachs start growling. Jessika says she needs a shower before she starts thinking about food, so they agree to meet later in the cafeteria, when neither of them has grease stains on their foreheads and they only sorta smell of motor oil.

Even though he takes his time in the shower, enjoying the organic ritual of scrubbing away dirt beneath a spray of scalding water, Poe is still the first to the cafeteria. He looks around the hall, full of odd-ends like him, who’d rather eat when they’re hungry than go by a regular schedule.

In the middle of the mess hall, all by himself at a table big enough to fit six, sits Luke Skywalker. 

Poe gets his food first. Soup, a plate full of veggies and the meat of the day, a glass of water, another of juice and some fruit. Then he walks up to Luke’s side and asks, “Is this seat available?” because above everything—above his honor and his sense of justice, above his love of danger and heroics, above his ambition and his desires—Poe Dameron is a good man, and good men don’t let old war heroes sit by themselves in a mess hall.

“Of course,” Skywalker replies. “It’d be my pleasure. I don’t think I’ve had the chance yet to congratulate you on leading the attack against Starkiller.”

“Thank you,” Poe replies.

“I was there, thirty years ago, when the Death Star was destroyed. It’s funny how cyclical time can be.”

“You were more than there,” Poe says because you couldn’t grow up as the son of two Rebel fighters without knowing the mythical story of Luke Skywalker, and even if he didn’t revere him like others did, Poe still respected the crap out of what he’d done for the galaxy. “You were the one leading the attack.”

Skywalker nods, silent for a second before he repeats, “I was there.”

More than humility drags his words. Poe gets it.

“Have Rey and Finn talked to you about practice yet?” he asks to change the subject.

“Yes, we start tomorrow. Will you be joining us?”

“Maybe,” Poe says. He can’t lie and say that he will, that he’s already forgiven Skywalker for what he did to all of them, that like Rey and Finn he’s already swept the past under a rug. At the same time he can’t say he won’t, because today is today and tomorrow is a different day and people change, opinions shift, hearts move. He might go, in the end, although chances are he will go to hangar and do what he does best: work with ships.

“We would love to have you there,” Skywalker says. “Rey and Finn speak very highly of you.”

All Poe gets from that is that everyone has been speaking about him these days. “Maybe,” he repeats, just as the blessed hour comes and Jessika enters the hall and joins them.

When Poe returns to his quarters, it is well past two in the morning. The corridors are deserted and all the stars outside shine like swarms of fireflies scattered across the sky, their light coming through the window and bathing the ground floor in a soft shimmer. 

The sound of laughter hits him a few meters before he reaches his door. He slows down his step, takes his time to categorize the voices before he clicks on the keypad and the metallic covering slides open. There he finds Finn sitting on his own bed while Rey sits on Poe’s.

“Poe! We were wondering when you’d get here. We have news,” Finn says. He smiles as he speaks, his eyes flickering from Poe to Rey in a second.

“What kind of news?” Poe asks, shrugging off his jacket before he kneels to give BB-8 a little pat on the head.

“Two pieces of news. First is that Luke agreed to help us practice stealth! We start tomorrow. Second is that we found Rey a new room. Her quarters are on the bottom floor right now and they’re like the inside of a cold, dark cave.”

“They’re not _that_ bad,” Rey argues.

“They’re terrible.”

“They’re pretty bad,” Poe says, smiling at their squabbling even though his skin feels like it’s being stretched by two opposing forces. 

Rey turns to him. “How come everyone knows about the state of my room better than I do?”

“Jessika told me.” Poe shrugs. “Where will you be staying?” 

Finn and Rey both look at him and grin, not saying a word, and Poe stares and stares until finally he gets it. The news is a bucket of cold water on his head, a shock and shiver at once.

“You want my room,” he concludes and the hurt in his voice—it’s impossible to hide it. It stains his every word, covers it in mandalorian ink, impossible to remove. Poe feels himself falling, tumbling through the sky like he’s been ejected from his T-70 with no jetpack strapped to his back. 

And the worst part is that he _knew_ Finn and Rey were together, knew it like a poison inside his bones, and he knew that they’d want their own space, and of course the first place they would turn to was Finn’s room, which he happened to share with Poe, but to ask for it like that, to shove Poe out of his own space with such little consideration… Poe knew Finn and Rey’s knowledge of social interaction was limited, a spaceship graveyard and the First Order not offering much, but this was crass even for the most oblivious of people.

Poe clenches his hands. “I’m sure there are plenty of empty rooms in the base you can take,” he says. 

“No, that’s not what we meant,” Rey says as she rushes forward. She glares at Finn for a second before she reaches for Poe.

She stops herself just before she touches him. A swollen pink scar escapes the cover of her jacket’s sleeves, trailing past her wrist and up the back of her hand, all the way to the base of her index finger. Poe stares, focusing on it as he gathers his wits to look Rey back in the eye.

“Then what did you mean?” he asks. He shifts his gaze from Rey’s frustrated expression to Finn’s troubled one.

“We meant we could push the two beds together. Or we could leave. If that’s what you want,” Finn says.

“Oh,” Poe says. The others follow his lead and the room is thrown into the silence. For the first time in his life, Poe doesn’t know what to fill it with. The others keep staring at him. The ball is on his turf. Poe turns their words around in his head, examining them from all angles. They don’t make anything clearer. “ _Really_?” he asks.

Finn and Rey both nod vehemently.

Poe feels like he’s floating. Nothing is real; not his life, not this conversation and not the people in front of him. Maybe he died, back on Starkiller base. Maybe.

His answer comes out before he has time to think about it, with a lifetime of reacting first and thinking later ingrained in his demeanor. “Sure,” he says, quiet, like he’s agreeing to something meaningless like a cup of coffee.

This time, it’s Rey’s turn to ask, “Really?” she sounds incredulous, which makes Poe think this was Finn’s idea and not hers.

“If you guys want to, then yes. I would like that.”

Rey and Finn grin at him with stars in their eyes and Poe wonders how long they spent debating how to do this, if they wanted to do this at all.

They push the beds together while BB-8 watches their every move with an avid curiosity. When they are finished, Rey returns to her old room to get her stuff, and she comes back with a rucksack, her staff and nothing else. “I’m a light packer,” she says. She looks shy, a look Poe isn’t used to seeing on her.

“Can I—“ he starts to ask before he realizes how awkward the question is. He’s always been fallen into action before words could catch up with him. _Can I hug you?_ lingers in the air. Luckily, Rey gets it because without another word she takes a step forward and hugs him so hard his bones rattle.

When they finally go to bed, it’s not weird even though by all means it should be. There is something inherently easy about being with Finn and Rey like this, in the dead of night, in the privacy of their quarters.

Poe ends up in the middle, but don’t ask him how because he has no idea. An arm is slung around his waist and a leg is thrown over him before he can protest. “I don’t wanna fall out,” is Finn’s excuse. Rey doesn’t give him one.

“This isn’t just sharing a bed, is it?” Poe asks. He already knows the answer, can feel it in his lungs and beneath his skin, their warmth far too solid to be superficial.

“I don’t think so,” Rey says.

“It’s not for me,” Finn replies and it’s an honest answer; a brave answer. It’s not surprising that he says it so readily. “You cool with that?”

Poe knocks their foreheads together. “Yeah,” he says. “This is fine.” He has no idea if he’s talking to himself or to his new bedmates.

“We saved the galaxy. This is nothing compared to that,” Rey says. Poe wonders if she’s speaking to herself too.

“I’m just happy to be here,” Finn replies and yeah, Poe can agree with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos & comments are super, duper cool and if you're about that life, you can follow me on my [tumblr](http://iscokroos.tumblr.com/).


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